While I call this narration ‘Triumphs’ it is really more like little every day victories of Nancy Mwenja, a soon to be married step-mom of 2 children. Forget everything you have heard about step-moms. This one blew my mind away.
“It begun 2 years ago. At work. Where it appears most relationships are forged. Steve was my Line Manager at work. When I joined the organisation, I was very nervous. I am not naturally an outgoing person. New places frighten me. It did not help that my friends had always told me of these very scary stories of corporate squabbles and back-stabbing wars. To my surprise, the place was not all that scary. It took a while to settle in, but luckily there were one or two very helpful individuals. Steve, was one of them.
I have always been a hard worker. Believing that if I am going to spend even a minute of my time doing anything, then I had better do it to the best of my ability. Otherwise, I will not bother with it. I suppose that is how I started getting more work and a rapport formed between Steve and I. I was not on the look-out for a boyfriend, mainly because I did not even know how to go about it. My friends always got annoyed at me because whatever dates they set me up with, I ended up bringing someone along or suggesting an outdoor activity. Dating can be very scary and the need to ‘not be yourself’ is just not appealing to me.
As time went on, I got to learn that Steve had children. The sad bit about it was that his wife had died a year earlier, leaving him a single father. We became good friends and between work and breaks, we could talk about anything and everything. He told me about his family, and the difficulty of being a single father. But as hard as it could get sometimes, his children were his life. I cannot tell you when friendship turned into love but it happened.
One day, he sent me an e-mail, which I thought was sweet, odd and shocking. He said that he had fallen in love with me but he was not the most important factor. He requested me to meet his children, because it was important to him that the children meet and like anyone who came into his life. There it was. A formal invitation to love, as I get to tease him nowadays. Long story short, amid the nervousness, the cancellation, twice, I got to meet Steve’s children. I had never considered myself a ‘children’ person, but I fell in love with these children. Probably more than I was in love with Steve, LOL. How these children have managed to be cheerful and so welcoming was amazing. I suppose that was because they have a wonderful father.
There is no training on being a parent, let alone being plunged into a family that already exists. I have been met with suspicion from Steve’s family, had myself quizzed by his aunts, had my mother blow tantrums at me, but I know this is where I was meant to be. When you love someone, you love them with all the ‘baggage’ and quirks that they come with. And I love this man. We are getting married next year. Mostly to formalize the union but this is my family. I will protect it with everything I have got. And I look forward to additional babies in future. Every day, I pray for strength to be the best mom and future wife and the lessons that come along the way, I will take them in stride.”
She embraced her man and his children. The kind of love everyone hopes and prays for. If you are a mom and you’d like to share your story on The Kenyan Mom, click on the image below and you could be next!
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