Men And Contraception

Posted Posted by kenyanmom in Idalia's Diary, Relationships, Sex     Comments No comments

Of all the topics that have generated controversy, this ranks among the top 10 I should think. Even in this day and age where roles, other than child bearing are becoming more and more blurred, you will still find heated debates regarding where contraception responsibility lies. Traditionally, it has been the woman’s role to take care of the household. This means making a castle for her man, and yes, believe it or not, determining the size of her family.

Today’s woman is a working woman. Still, that has not negated the role that society has always bestowed on her. Contraception is no exception. While the world today is looking to make both men and women responsible for the size and quality of family and life, why is it then that men have not taken up the very seemingly basic responsibility of size of family? I have talked to a few men, both single and married, and the general consensus is the same. It is a woman’s responsibility! I disagree.

With the changing times and roles being cross-shared, wouldn’t it be better to know that men are taking an active role in contraception? True, sex is meant to be enjoyed, and I am not going to drum up the ‘no sex before marriage’ song. Everyone has a choice, but with choice comes responsibility. The married men will not even consider the condom as a form of contraceptive. Why? ‘She is my woman. I am faithful to her and she to me.’ Or the infamous one; ‘sex is not as enjoyable with a condom as without.’ I have no argument with that. But, if you and your spouse or partner have agreed on the number of children, is it beyond comprehensible to also take on the responsibility of using a contraceptive or even discussing options with your woman?

Before you shoot me, I am not saying that it’s about time you went in for your vasectomy after child number 3. I’m just saying, research is underway and there are injections and patches that will soon be readily available in the market. You wouldn’t consider that? Right, before you pelt me with stones, there are other contraception methods that are not as dramatic as vasectomy or, God have mercy, the injection. Withdrawal method. You can handle that, no?

So far, we have discussed 3 contraception methods that are available for men.

1. Vasectomy
2. Condoms
3. Injections/Patch/Implants (soon to be available in markets)

I’ll let you in on a little secret. Of the women I have spoken to, 90% of them do not discuss the kind of contraception they are on with their men. I understand the single women not doing so, though, I believe a woman has a right to demand that her sexual partner slip on a condom. For obvious and less obvious reasons. But even the married woman is not discussing contraception with her husband! Why? Some say that they have attempted to and it turned awkward. Others say the husband could be less bothered. And from the man’s perspective, the ‘it is not manly’ card flies. But dear men, if you took time to discuss the family, including contraception with your women, then the burden becomes lighter. You would get to know what your woman goes through, in terms of hormonal imbalance or discomforts caused by different kinds of contraceptives. Then she would feel like you are with her on this, through the ecstasy of orgasm as well as the discomfort she has to go through to make the joy of sex with you stress free. After all, the joy of a relationship is sharing, the good and the bad, isn’t it?

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