Let us call a spade a spade. How often do you walk around the city, spot a lady who is beautiful and appealing to the eyes. The devil in you says ‘oh my’ but the angel in you reminds you that you are a man to someone, someone who thinks the world of you? If you are not lucky, she will end up being the neighbour’s wife, just to spice up the temptation.
A farmer has to plant a seed, water it, be patient and after sometime, he will have a fruit which he can choose to eat, feed his people or sell. In layman terms, one reaps what they sow. Do these statements sound familiar?
‘ You do not call’
‘You are not giving me attention’
‘I feel as if I am single’
These are just a few statements men seem to hear every so often. Some of them are well deserved. Others are as a result of simple miscommunication. For example, a man wakes up at 4am, he doubles up as a matatu tout, he does his shift from 5am – 8am, reports to work at 8.30am – 5pm, goes back to the matatu hustle from 6pm – 11pm. All this so that he and his partner and maybe kids live a comfortable life. Is it fair then for the woman in his life to shout ‘I am not getting enough attention’ yet to him, he is doing it all for her? During the morning or evening matatu gig, a small girl wants to board the matatu, he lifts the girl up and gets her into the matatu. A friend to the Mrs sees this and all hell breaks loose. Conclusion? You have children with other people, you take your other children to school and you can not even take yours etc’. Sounds far fetched and believe me, this is a whole topic on it’s own. The fact is, it is because of women, we men have come this far (pardon the near pun). It is because of them some of us are sorted inside out, it is because of them, we have added or lost a few kilos. It is because of them, we have a shoulder to lean on and an arm to rely on to pick us up when you fall and the same arm will dust you off. It is because of women, we are able to add the title dad to our names and it is because of their amazing work, we end up being respectable people in the society because we have well behaved kids, who are a resource of value to the great nation.
As much as it is never a smooth ride, regardless of what is thrown at you physically or emotionally, women DESERVE to be treated with love and respect. If it wasn’t for a woman, you wouldn’t be where you are today and if it is not for the woman in you life now, your kids will not enjoy their tomorrow as resourceful, responsible, hard working and all rounded individuals.
Listen to her, women are good at holding things in. I know this first hand because when I get into an argument with @thekenyanmom and we get into an exchange match, once she is in full gear she will not quit. She will go on and on and on saying, ‘do you remember this, do you remember that’. My mum gets even more precise. Her recaps come complete with dates and time. Now, as much as men complain that women keep grudges, I think, they ‘do so’ because they lack an outlet stream for their thoughts and emotions. If we men would let women express what is in their minds more often, as it is, when it is, the issue of keeping grudges would not be there.
It is human, when you are attacked with allegations you hit the roof and some of us (read me) do more than hit the roof, we break it and the walls too. COMMUNICATE. Make them understand and regardless of the fire she is breathing she will listen. When our kids are too young to even express how they are feeling, the woman is able to read and understand the non verbal communication so words should never be a problem.
Make time for her. True, you might be busy but she too has a life. Your kids never go to bed hungry with their homework not checked. She manages to keep the house in order and still juggle her other engagements of being a bread winner and a wife. Women are obviously good at multi-tasking, but what about taking her out for dinner every so often? What about calling to check up on her and telling her she is dearly missed? What about surprising her with breakfast in bed? A disclaimer h ere is if you know you are not good in the kitchen make sure you have a working fire extinguisher and ENO at hand! What about asking her how her day was, what about getting her out of bed to go watch a movie when the kids are asleep? How bout spicing up your bedroom life so that she ….
Speaking of sex, it is one thing for a man to enjoy the sex it is another for the lady to enjoy. It goes above the orgasm. Just because you reached your pick and had your 2 minutes of fame, doesn’t mean your woman should be left hanging. What about getting her gifts, kissing her and hugging her every day. If she doesn’t drive, what about picking her up from work when your work schedule allows, reminding her she is beautiful and that you are the luckiest man alive to have her?
Small gestures that go a long way. You don’t need to be treated like a king to make her your queen but you can treat her like the queen she really is and you will be her and always the man of her dreams. The man she adores!
Next Time… Thinking About Raising A Family. MUST We Get Married?
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