By Evans Muriu
Technically, I am not a dad. Which means I have not fathered any children of my own. But ever since my nephew was born, I have taken up the role of daddy. The 7 years that I have played this role have taught me so many things especially the role a father has toward a child’s development.
First, no woman makes a baby by her self. Like it or not, a man is always a part of this equation in one way or another. Why then does it seem okay to leave the lady to do all the upbringing by herself, over and above the 9 months of carrying the baby to term?
Fact is a good number of people walking the streets of the world were what we affectionately refer to as ‘accidents’. Accidents because the few minutes of pleasure were meant to be just that. Pleasure. Unfortunately, nature and all it’s designs turned the minutes of pleasure into life long responsibility. A baby. It is said everything happen for a reason and those ‘accidents’ surprise us by doing big things not only bringing glory to themselves but their family and maybe the nation as a whole.
If a man could spare the few minutes to ‘enjoy’ why can’t he spare the same for the kids? Pardon me, but I know the head in use at that moment is not the thinking one but they say all that happens down there has to start up in the brain.
My nephew’s father, just like a majority of men went MIA after the 9-month transaction was successful. If someone like me was not there to wear the daddy shoes my ‘son’ would not be who he is nor on the path he is now. The young man looks up to me for everything. Anything I do, he will be doing so because his uncle does it. He comes to me when he has problems. He brings my blood to a boil, just like any other kid would a dad but never for one moment have I ever regret anything. I make sure I drop him to school every morning. Spend Sunday’s with him and call him every so often. He knows how to text so he texts me too.
I have seen him pick up so many things from me directly and indirectly. Things I suppose every son picks up from the father. I work till late, come home when my nephew is asleep due to unavoidable circumstances. The thing is, when I think about it, my father used to come home late when I was young. I rarely saw him. Maybe that work thing was instilled in me without my knowing. Kids have a sharp memory and are very kin on things they pick up.
If some men can become men and play the role they are meant to play in a child’s development from birth, maybe, just maybe the spoilt generation wouldn’t exist. We leave so much to the ladies that it compromises the quality of their work and also drains their energy. One day I came home early and noticed my nephew had fallen close to 2 weeks ago and his wound was healing. The fact that I did not know or even notice as soon as it happened really pissed me off. Fathers and especially the current generation make some of the habits which are so wrong look right. Like use of drugs, exchanging women like clothes, worshiping money etc.
In my opinion, if a man, in this case a father, complements the efforts of the mother, the outcome will be a young person who is a responsible and resourceful citizen.
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